


Rehab

by muscatmusic18



Series: October Prompts [11]
Category: Agent Carter (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, October Prompt Challenge, Winter Soldier AU, but happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2018-08-22 00:49:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8266598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/muscatmusic18/pseuds/muscatmusic18
Summary: AU where Peggy becomes the Winter Soldier.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, Day 11, and I'm so not sorry for this one. Although it hurts to write my babies in pain.

_ One week prior _

 

_ Daniel tightened the last straps on his fake leg, cursing having to put it on this early in the morning, but he would do anything for his wife, who was leaving for a mission today. _

 

_ He crutched his way into the kitchen, finding Peggy there with a mug of tea in her hands, staring the horizon, watching the first hints of color appear like watercolors bleeding across a canvas. _

 

_ She automatically leaned closer to him, looking up to give him a smile, but he could see the nervousness in the crinkles around her eyes. He tried to put on a brave face, reassuredly kissing the top of her head, but he was just as nervous as she was. _

 

_ They sat down at the kitchen table with the intentions of eating breakfast, but neither ate much, the both of them hating this part of a mission. _

 

_ Finally, a car pulled up for Peggy, and the couple made their way to the door where her duffle was waiting. _

 

_ “Three weeks?” He asked. _

 

_ “Three weeks.” She responded, nodding along. _

 

_ They embraced, but she didn't want to let go, so he held her, trying his hardest to send his strength with her. _

 

_ Finally, she released. She'd done this before, but this goodbye felt different. It felt so final, and that was the last thing she wanted it to be. _

 

_ He kissed her forehead, then the corner of her eye, then her cheek, then the corner of her lips, and then pulling her into a sweet, lazy kiss. _

 

_ It ended much too soon, and she rested her forehead on his, their breath mingling in the small space between them. _

 

_ “I love you.” She whispered, hoping he could understand everything she was trying to say. _

 

_ “I love you too.” He whispered back, wishing he could say so much more. _

 

_ He watched as his wife loaded into the S.H.I.E.L.D. issued car, hoping that the sinking pit in his stomach was nothing at all. _

 

_ She cast one last look at the house and him, hoping that the tightness in her throat was just from saying goodbye. _

 

_ ~~~~~~~~~ _

Present day

Daniel sat at Peggy’s desk, acting director until she returned from her mission. She'd only been gone a week, and already he was counting the seconds until she returned home.

A soft knock came at the door, interrupting him from his thoughts and the paperwork he was supposed to be doing.

“Director?” Came a soft voice at it stepped into the office. It was Rose.

“It's Peggy. She missed her latest check-in.”

Bile burned his throat. “How long has it been?”

“14 hours.” She answered, worry and sympathy shining so brightly in her eyes.

“Give her ten more. If she doesn't report, start the protocol for missing agents.” His voice was rough, but that was the trade off for not smashing in a window.

Rose nodded, slipping out the door and closing it. He heard the click and let out a shaky breath. This could be a fluke, Peggy could just be caught up in everything, but something in his gut told him it wasn't. His beloved was in danger, and he could feel it down to his core. Something was wrong.

~~~~~~~~~

Peggy opened her eyes, trying to take in her surroundings, but everything was too blurry to see. She was lying down on something hard and cold, and it felt smooth underneath her fingertips. The side of her head was sticky with something, but when she tried to touch it, her wrist was stopped by a leather restraint.

_ “Ah, good. You're awake. We weren't sure you were going to wake up.”  _ A man spoke in Russian. She turned her head and saw him sitting in a chair besides her, the light above her too bright for her to make out any features. Her eyes flicked to a tray of sharp instruments next to him, before looking back at him.

_ “You are as smart as they say. Yes, those are for you, and while you are too weak yet for us to use them today, we will get there in time, my dear.” _

She shivered, his pet name for her being the exact one Daniel used for her.

The shadowed man reached out and grabbed a blood red journal with a black star on the front, opening it to one of the first few pages.

_ “Now, my dear, let us get started.” _

_ ~~~~~~~~~ _

One year. That's how long Daniel had been alone, how long Peggy had been gone. She was MIA. For all intents and purposes, he was a widower.

There hadn't been a funeral. He was her only living relative, and he didn't want one for her, not until they found a body, but the chances of that were plunging every day. He knew he should have one. Everyone talked about ‘closure’, but really he just wanted a plot in the cemetery that he could lay flowers on. That he could rest besides when it was his time.

He sighed, walking into his office with a mug of coffee in his hands, not needing a crutch since Howard had made him a new ‘sympathy’ leg, he called it, since Stark only made it after Peggy was declared MIA.

He settled into his office - well, her office. He hadn't changed a thing. Everything else had changed, the bedroom, the bathroom, the living room. He just couldn't bear to change the office.

“There's reports coming in from a research lab in West Germany, Director, and I think you should see these.” Rose came barging in, a file in her hands and her face as white as a sheet.

He opened the file, and felt his face pale as well. A picture showed dozens of body bags, all lined up in a lobby of some kind, along with bloodstains and bullet holes along the walls.

“When did this happen?” He asked, flipping through the gory photos.

“A few days ago. West officials are saying that this is unlike anything they've ever seen. The assassin came in without being noticed, and then slipped out unnoticed. There's no living witnesses, so they have no leads to go on. They said it's like a ghost story, except…” She trailed off, taking a deep breath. “The carnage is anything but a ghost story.”

“Yeah…” He agreed, flipping back through the photos, brow furrowing as he noticed something. “Rose, how many are dead?”

“39.”

He closed his eyes before counting bullet holes in the walls. “There's only 39 bullet holes documented. That means only one bullet a person. That’s-”

“Impossible.”

“Highly trained.” He corrected. “Only a handful of people can pull that off. Tell West Germany to start there.”

“Will do. And Director?” She asked, turning in the door. “West said to watch our backs, as the killer might go international. This may only be the beginning.”

He nodded, watching the door close. He wished Peggy was here. She was better at stuff like this. She knew exactly what to do, exactly when to act. When working underneath someone, she seemed reckless and irresponsible, but when she was her own boss, everything fell into place, pulling off stunts he never thought possible. She was a genius, seeing patterns and plans before anyone else, even before think tanks working around the clock.

She was better at stuff like this.

~~~~~~~~~

Peggy opened her eyes, her heart racing and her breath rapid. Why? Nothing happened… No, not nothing, she couldn’t remember… Why couldn’t she remember?

_ “Good morning, soldier.” _ Her handler said in Russian, his eye swelling and his hair mussed like he’d just been in a fight. Why was he fighting?

_ “Ready to comply.” _ She responded in her mother tongue, just like she’d been taught. 

_ “Good. You almost broke through your training for a moment. The person underneath almost came through.” _

Why would she want to break her training? And who was the person underneath? Her handler mentioned her often, but she still had no idea who the person was.

_ “Your first mission was a success, even better than the other’s first one. 39 bullets and 39 dead. No survivors and no witnesses. Perfection.” _

Of course that’s what happened. It’s what she was ordered to do.

_ “You are ready for your real mission. We will be sending you to the States, where you will topple the organization called S.H.I.E.L.D. Just like before: no survivors, no witnesses.” _

She nodded, relaying her understanding without having to say a word.

_ “You leave in two weeks. In the meantime, we will work to squash the person underneath. She is strong, that one, but once she is gone, you will become indestructible.” _

She stood from her chair, walking to a table and laying down. She felt the metal pieces cover her head, and the mouth guard forced in as she braced herself, proving inevitable as she screamed, the electricity pulsing through her body until the darkness overcame her.

~~~~~~~~~

Pouring his second glass of whiskey, he settled himself back onto the couch, reviewing the West Germany case. Two weeks, and neither of the organizations had a clue what happened in that research lab. Nothing had followed up the attack, and West thought it may be over, but Daniel knew the second shoe had yet to drop.

He cursed the phone as it rang, not wanting to answer it, but at this hour it could only be the office.

“Sousa.” He answered, cradling the receiver with his shoulder as he looked through the Germany photos once again.

Only garbled noises came through, and he straightened, straining to hear anything.

“What? I can’t hear you, repeat.”

“S.H.I.E.L.D...” The only word he caught, and just more static afterwards.

“Repeat, I cannot hear you, can you hear me?.” 

“S.H.I.E.L.D… attacked… bomb… dead and injured… terrorist…”

His grip loosened on the photos, dropping them as he hung up the phone and ran as fast as he could to his car, checking his side arm along the way. Driving as fast as he could, he prayed.

He’d already lost her, he wasn’t going to lose her legacy as well.

~~~~~~~~~

She flexed her metal arm, still adjusting to the gift from her handler. He said it was working remarkably well for the other one, so well that she should have one as well.

She leapt into the vent, unseen as everyone was distracted by the bomb she’s set in the opposite wing.

She crawled silently, taking her memorized route to the central area. The muzzle was hot and heavy on her face, but it was necessary to keep her identity hidden.

Quickly, she peered through a grate, checking for people, and was about to resume her route before something caught her eye. She removed the grate, swinging down with ease and found herself standing in front of a massive portrait.

Of her.

But a different her. This one was smiling and confident, arms crossed and a gleam in the eyes as though she was challenging her enemies to take her on, and promptly lose. Her hair was perfectly kept, and her lipstick was a bold color, possibly red as far as she could tell from the colorless photo.

But most importantly, she looked proud. Happy even. She looked like she was queen of the world.

‘Who is this?’ She thought, taking another step forward, staring into the familiar yet strange eyes. She didn’t remember this. She wasn’t aware of her life outside of her handler, but she never thought any of it took place in the States.

She reached put, tracing the plaque underneath the portrait.

_ In Loving Memory _

_ Margaret ‘Peggy’ Carter _

_ Founder ~ Declared MIA _

Margaret. Peggy.  _ Peggy. _

A wave of memories washed over her, none of them making sense and they washed out every one of her senses, leaving her blind. They filled her with such a sense of fear that she turned and ran, avoiding to meet anyone in the hallways until she burst outside, slumping to the ground in an alley as she held her head in her hands.

_ ‘Who am I?’ _

~~~~~~~~~

Daniel picked his way through the rubble, inspecting the damage and comforting anyone he saw, making sure they weren’t hurt.

What a mess.

He found a couple of agent and found his way over, asking for a report.

“No one knows what happened. It was a bomb, but who placed it, where, and why, are still a mystery. It’s like a ghost came through.” Agent Shafer explained.

A ghost. He recognized that comparison. This was the other shoe.

“Thank you, agents. Keep up the good work, and keep me updated.”

He worked his way back to his office, pulling out his gun, knowing what this killer was capable of.

What a mess.

~~~~~~~~~

She snuck back into her target building, her training kicking back in and letting her forget what she saw.

She was a weapon. A killer. An assassin. She was nothing else outside of a servant to her handler and Mother Russia.

She peered around a corner, a few silenced bullets dropping the guards. 

She marched through the halls, throwing her silencer away. They knew she was here. She didn't need it.

She didn't bother to hide herself from the cameras. None of them would last long enough to find out who she was.

She fought and fought, losing her guns and her muzzle but never losing a fight. Everyone she encountered went down, never standing a chance.

She was a weapon.

~~~~~~~~~

_ “Target is in the west wing headed north, proceed with caution. Repeat, target in west wing headed north, proceed with caution.”  _ A sharp voice came through the walkie-talkie, the speaker obviously out of breath. Daniel grabbed his gun, heading west.

Every corner he stopped to listen, until he finally heard the faint sounds of a fight, and headed straight for them.

A few more corners, and he finally found the assailant, battling with only fists of flesh and metal in five against one, but she was obviously winning.

She. He shouldn’t be surprised, Peggy taught him that, but still he was.

He watched as she struck, first with her fist and then with her elbow made of metal, knocking the man to the ground and leaving a smear of blood on the metal. She was a blur, only fists and metal and dark hair, like a viper striking out at it’s prey, except even more deadly. 

Finally, she turned so he could see her face and he began searching for features to identify, but with his first true look he stumbled back behind the corner, almost losing his balance as his breath caught in his throat and his chest tightened.

He knew her, the assassin, the murderer. He knew her because it was the face he woke up to every day for almost three years before she went missing, the face he saw every night in his dreams.

The face was Peggy’s.

Bracing himself, he peered around the corner and grimaced. It was her, no doubt about it. He should have seen it before, the movements, the punches she threw, the deadly accuracy. Those were all her’s. He knew them by heart, and although her face was gaunt and her hair unkempt and an arm of metal and a cold, deadly look in her eye, he would recognize her anywhere and in any situation.

With pain in his heart he watched her beat the last man, knowing her moves and her weaknesses, waiting until her back was unguarded, just as it was in sparring practice.

“Freeze!” He yelled, barely able to keep the quiver out of his voice.

“Turn around.” He said, watching as she kept her hands up, slowly turning to look him in the eye.

And it broke his heart. It really was her. He kept hoping it was a fluke, but the structure of her face, the curve of her lips, the pattern of her fighting, it was all hers, and no one else's.

“Peggy.” He whispered, trying to keep the gun pointed at her. He never thought he would get to say her name to her face again, yet here he was, with a gun in between them. How could this have happened? She wasn’t a killer, what made her into this?

“Who the hell is Peggy?” Her voice came out with a slight Russian lilt to it, but it was her’s all the same.

Everything fell into place. She didn’t remember anything, not even herself. That fateful mission one year ago, when she missed her check in. This is what had happened. Who it was, or what they did to her, he didn’t know, but they would pay for what they did to his wife.

He felt his heart crack, fissures spreading every second the gun was between them, safety off and finger on the trigger. 

She saw the outcome, she knew she was beat. A gun was faster than her fists could ever be. So she lowered her hands and outstretched them until he knew what she was saying. She would go to death willingly by his bullet. She was his prize. He won.

“I’m not going to fight you.” He whispered, tossing the gun to the side. Her eyes tracked it, before meeting his again.

“You’re my wife. I can’t do this. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done, or what’s happened to you. She might not even be in there, but whether Peggy’s there or it’s just a shell of her, it won’t be my bullet that takes you out.”

They stood still, his eyes pleading and her’s calculating. Time stopped. The only thing in the world was them and a decision.

“Come back to me.” He rasped, tears filling his eyes and her saw the body of his wife but the eyes of a cold-blooded killer.

But then something changed. The glint in her eye softened, and he held his breath, seeing the woman he loves coming back.

Emotions crossed her face: confusion, horror, fear, and guilt. As soon as they came, they were hidden again, so carefully tucked away.

She reached into her belt, pulling out a knife and palming it. He held his breath, waiting for the charge to come, but it never did. Instead, she dropped the knife before turning in a heel and striding away.

He released his breath, broken to see her walk away, but also overjoyed, knowing he’d gotten through to Peggy.

She’d left her knife, giving him something to find her with.

~~~~~~~~~

He was roused by a pounding at his door, so loud he wondered if the door had come off the hinges yet.

Grabbing crutches, he made his way to the door, fumbling with the lock before he opened it to see an anguished looking Peggy; rumpled, unclean, and pain shining in her eyes.

“Daniel.” She gasped, gritting her teeth and bowing her head.

‘You know.” He exclaimed. They hadn’t been able to find her after a week of searching, yet here she was, lucid and at his door.

“Yes. But I can’t stay long. I can’t keep them out of my head.” She moaned, a sweat breaking out on her forehead.

“Who? Come on, Peg, come inside, I can help.”

“No!” She yelled. “I could hurt you. They could hurt you. Hydra.” She panted, leaning against the doorframe.

“Hydra did this to you?”

“Yes. They call me the Winter Soldier. They did something to me that makes me fight for them, and I’ve been fighting back, but I can’t keep them out much longer.” She gripped her head, shaking it and moaning.

He cringed, hating to see her in pain. “What can I do to help?”

“Just find me! I can’t stay, but when I leave, find me and get me back.”

She was getting ready to bolt, afraid she would hurt him but he couldn’t lose her again, not now.

“I’m sorry, Peg, but I gotta do this.” He smacked the side of her head as hard as her could, right on her temple, watching her crumple to the ground. 

He knelt, pulling her inside before putting on his leg and clothes. From there, he shakily carried her to the bedroom, handcuffing her before calling Howard.

~~~~~~~~~

Slowly, Howard and Daniel got Peggy back, working through the brainwashing until all that was left was her, no Winter Soldier left.

But it came at a price.

The night terrors came, plaguing her with the faces of everyone she’d killed. All of their pain became her’s, drawing lines in her face and tightening her body until she vomited, over and over again until there was nothing left, leaving her to just retch.

She sat constantly curled, never a loose muscle in her body as she replayed their deaths, the screams echoing in her ears and the blood staining the back of her eyes. She sat crying, until the tears ran out and she still sat, whimpers coming from the back of her throat.

He was always by her side, holding her hair and rubbing her back as she retched, waking her and calming her from her nightmares, and holding her as she cried.

She sat on the couch, curled up in a tight ball and he kneeled in front of her, wiping her tears as they came.

“What can I do? Darling, I’ll do anything to take your pain away, just tell me what to do.” He whispered, feeling her pain as his own, yet not able to do anything to lessen it.

“Make me forget.” She cried softly, burying her head in her arms.

~~~~~~~~~

It took a few, long weeks, but Stark, Samberly, Jason, and a team of scientists were able to figure out a hypothetical way to lessen her fear and possibly take away her memories of being the Winter Soldier.

They all warned her that this was all hypothetical, and that it could do irreparable damage, or even possibly kill her, but she wouldn’t listen.

“I’d rather die than live like this.” She would say every time, so finally, they all agreed to try the procedure.

She lay down on a table, hooked up to every machine possible, with her husband by her side holding her hand.

‘We’ll sedate you first, then wait until you start dreaming to inject propranolol, which will lessen your adrenaline levels, which will lessen your fears. Then, while those memories are playing through your dreams, we’ll insert another drug, which should hopefully only target those memories, making you forget the experience all together.” Howard explained.

“You can still back out, Peggy. You don’t have to do this.” Jason warned her.

“I want to.” She croaked, her throat raw from everything.

“Alright. We’ll see you when you wake up.” Howard said, nodding at a doctor who came over with a syringe.

“You remember our deal?” She asked.

“If it doesn’t go right, put you out of your misery.” He responded, looking tough but a bit of fear shone through in his eyes.

“And my arm?” She gestured to the metal one.

“Phase transmitter. I’ll install it onto the arm, and I can adjust it to make it look real. Since it already radiates heat, nobody will ever know that it’s fake.” He responded.

She nodded and turned her head to her husband. “You’ll stay here with me?”

He kissed her hand. “No matter what.”

She sighed, tightening her grip on his hand and nodding. “I’m ready.”

The doctor injected the syringe into her IV, and slowly, everything became dark.

~~~~~~~~~

She woke with a hell of a headache.

Opening her eyes, she saw Daniel holding her hand, asleep with his head on her bed.

She squeezed it, watching him stir. “Peg!” He exclaimed drowsily. “You’re awake.”

“What happened?” She rasped, clearing her throat.

“What do you remember?” He asked, eyes becoming more alert as he sat up.

“I went on a mission… It was going okay, but then something happened… I don’t know what, though. Do you?”

“You were kidnapped. We had to come and find you.” He answered, not really lying, but just leaving out details. He kissed her hand again, tears filling his eyes. Stark had pulled it off again. She didn’t remember. “How about some water?”

She nodded, and he got a cup for her, helping her sit up to take a few sips.

They had a long ways to go. Part of the deal was that they had to tell Peggy the truth of what really happened, but she was still too fragile for that. Even now, they didn’t know if there were lasting effects, but all that mattered was that Peggy was awake.

__  
One step at a time.  



End file.
